Oh my, so this is blogdom! This is a giant leap for me as I am one of the few remaining stragglers yet to have thrown themselves out into the wild wide web for all to see. It feels uncomfortable using my real identity here. I feel as though I should hide for fear of repercussions of my words. Is this normal? Is this a generational thing I’m feeling? I want to be open and honest; however, when I am on the verge of my second divorce, I feel completely paranoid and vulnerable.
With my fear locked up for a moment and a few deep breaths, I want to say that my intention here is to write through my next journey in life and also to share my past lessons learned. So, here I stand on the precipice of a new journey. Will I stay within my safety net, or will I take yet another leap of faith? I don’t know. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m chicken shit! I’m incredibly strong. Depends on every minute of every single day and it can be exhausting.
At the end of last year, I had an internal meltdown. I literally felt a surge of unleashed energy driving me to make a change for my own self-preservation. Two issues…I no longer enjoyed my work and my second husband and I were at each others throats! One in itself would be challenging but there I was, wanting yet again, a clean slate. It’s not that I’m a runner; the issue is that I start down a path of predictability. I choose the the safe road that’s beautifully paved with no bumps and a clear view of what’s up ahead. As I continue on this road, I realize, I’m on the wrong fucking road. This is sooo boring! I begin looking for trouble just to distract myself because I don’t know how to get off the road or I’m just too scared to throw myself out of a moving vehicle!
So this is where I am. On a moving vehicle with the door open and one leg hanging out. A change is gonna come…I hope you’ll join me.