If you had seen me on the street 10 years ago, you may have thought, “What a perfect family.” You may have described us as happy, loving, clean, and beautiful. We had the perfect house, perfect beautiful children, we were all slim and healthy, we had money, we had it all. You may have even been envious of my life. If you thought all those things, I would have to say to you, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Because underneath all that was a cheating wife.
I have recently laid out my story, or rather the beginning of my story and my affair. It was very difficult. As I have said, I am telling my story in hopes that it will help others who are in the same predicament or trying to move out of it. There are many! I have faced some harsh criticism over the years and more recently. It will always sting, but I understand it. I used to be the most judgmental person I know. I had the perfect life. I created something I wanted because I would accept no less. I worked hard for it. I made good decisions. I judged others who were unable to do the same. I had harsh criticism for someone who complained about their life and where it was going. “Well fix it,” or “Why did you do something so stupid in the first place.” That was my attitude at a young age. That was how I was treated growing up and in turn, how I treated others. If my experience brought only the fact that I am no longer that person, then I am beyond grateful for it.
I became one of “those” people. Someone I would have scorned. I was humbled. I am humbled. I grew up. I learned that we all make mistakes and that even little ole ME, is NOT so perfect. We all have our demons and our secrets. I have looked down on people and I have felt shame for that. I am no one to judge. Not because I have made mistakes, but because it is not my job, nor my place. I have had women who were on the other end come at me with hatred. It is something that I have dealt with and will write about at the right time. I respect those women. I have been on the other end. I know the pain, but that is not my story to tell. I don’t ask for acceptance. I don’t ask for forgiveness. I don’t ask for respect, but do I ask that comments be respectful and thoughtful. I am not anyone’s punching bag.
Here are the beginning posts of my journey thus far. It is a beautiful, gut-wrenching journey and I have learned more than most do in a lifetime. If it makes you feel something, learn something, heal something, change something, or even makes you cry, I am grateful. Thanks for listening.