The Heroine's Adventure

Chik, chuk, chik, chuk; the hazards beat a dull heart.

We line the cars up along the sepia-tinted streets of my childhood.

There are flags trembling, a light drizzle.

I am alone in my car, waving to my best friend just ahead.

It is a parade, a homecoming,

a funeral.  “Homecoming” by Jen Groeber: Mama Art

________________________________________

I have never been to a one before.

I have never had anyone close to me die.

I always wondered how I would react.  How can I predict an emotion to an event that I have never  experienced?  They say most human reactions are based on prior experience.  Like triggers from our childhood.  I have no prior experience from which to draw.

I feel numb.  Is that normal?

I never thought I would come back to this now-foreign place.

What is normal?

I notice when the drops become too heavy, they careen down my windshield.

I feel my insides have gone into crisis mode, unsure of what to put out.  Maybe I fried the system.

What do I say to people?  I am afraid.  I don’t want to think about this anymore.

Time is a funny thing.  Everything is rearranged in a second.  I don’t remember what it was like before.  The past feels like a dream.  Did any of it really happen?

We are stopped now.  Like birds being released from a cage, they begin to file out from their cars.

Everything looks black in misty weather.

I know it is coming.  I know my insides will figure it out eventually.

A hollow knock on the window startles me.  Time is a funny thing.  It never stops.

**The first part of the this post was written by Jen Groeber for the Fifty Challenge.  This weeks writing challenge was to use a Fifty for inspiration, which is what I added after the line.

Check out my original Fifty, The Meeting.

Photo Credit:  http://www.healingjourneyblog.com

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